


"The Gang Gets Trapped"

by Queenscene2



Series: It's Always Sunny on Planet Arus (Dotu Crack Fics) [7]
Category: Voltron: Lion Force (1984)
Genre: Crack, Gen, M/M, RIP, like crack cocaine, lotor being a prick as usual, what can you do
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-23
Updated: 2020-09-23
Packaged: 2021-03-07 18:47:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,470
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26622382
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Queenscene2/pseuds/Queenscene2
Summary: The 6 pilots get trapped in a Drule spaceshipA crack fic
Relationships: Keith/Sven (Voltron)
Series: It's Always Sunny on Planet Arus (Dotu Crack Fics) [7]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1825153
Comments: 4
Kudos: 7





	"The Gang Gets Trapped"

**Author's Note:**

> ***This is a crack fic. Do not take anything in this story seriously***

Keith woke up to the sound of beeping and with a massive headache. He sat up and found himself in a cafeteria looking area. “Where…?” He muttered to himself. “Where the hell am I?” Keith turned to see Lance say the same thing and rub the back of his head, taking the words right out of his mouth.

The other pilots slowly sat up and took in their surroundings. Even Sven was there. Hunk, as the optimist that he was, smiled as he saw the cafeteria tables and chairs. “Oooh! Are we…in a cafeteria? Yum! I’m starving!” he exclaimed. Pidge licked his lips. “Mmmm. I could go for some calzones!” he said.

The pilots all stood up and looked around. Keith’s eyes widened as he saw that even Sven was there. “Sven!” he cried out. Sven gave him a shy little wave. “Oh, hi Keith.” He said. Pidge and Lance snickered.

The six gathered around the center table and noticed that there was a big button with a cover on it **“PUSH FOR EMERGENCY MEETING”** was written on the outside. “Wh—” Keith started but then an obnoxious buzzer noise. They covered their ears as best as they could.

Lotor’s stupid laugh filled the room. “Welcome esteemed guests!” he said in between laughs. The 6 got into fighting stances. “Lotor!” Keith exclaimed. “Yeah no shit.” Lance said under his breath. Keith kicked him in the calf, but he didn’t feel it due to their armor.

“Where are the lions?!” Allura demanded, her hand hovering over her gun. “Oh my sweet princess.” Lotor said. The pilots could practically see his face that matched his patronizing tone. “The lions are the _least_ of your worries, my dearest.”

“What do you want from us?!” Keith cried. “One of you six were given a shot made by the…er…lovely Haggar that makes you a killing machine. The shot should be taking effect soon, so I won’t have you for too long.”

The 6 looked at each other in worry. Who would want to kill their fellow brother?

“Oh, by the way, this spaceship is old and needs repairs. If you don’t, all of you automatically die.” Lotor said with a sick aura of confidence. Lance scowled. “If you all kill the one teammate that is the deviant, you all will get out free. If not? Well…good luck!”

Lotor went off the speaker as the team just stood there in silence. “Alright, team.” Keith started. “I guess…we just have to play his game. We’ll split up and do tasks and if anything happens, yell.” Keith couldn’t believe this was happening. One person on the team was against them…an impostor if you will...and there was nothing he could do to stop it. Keith sighed heavily as the team split up in different directions.

~

Hunk was muttering profanities as he just couldn’t get the damn wires correct. “Who does Lotor think I am, an elec—” A bang rang out, shooting him in the back of the head. The big guy fell immediately to the ground, blood flowing everywhere around his dead corpse. The vent next to him opened and closed with a squeak.

Allura was the first to find the Yellow Pilot’s dead body.

**_DEAD BODY REPORTED_ **

The five found themselves back in the cafeteria. Allura was visibly upset. “I found Hunk’s dead body in electrical.” She said. She looked down at her blood stained boots. “Also, my pretty white boots are all bloody.”

“That’s a suspicious thing to say.” Pidge noted. Allura turned to him. “What?! I didn’t kill him!” Lance leaned back in his chair and put his hands behind his head. “Doth protest too much, baby girl.” He said, smirking. Allura was about to go at his throat when Keith spoke up.

“Did you see anyone around?” he asked. Allura shook her head. “No! I didn’t! But you guys gotta believe me, I didn’t do it!” Lance looked over at Sven. “You’ve been awfully quiet, Holgersson.” He noted. Sven looked up. “I’m thinking.” He said.

“It’s Allura.” Lance concluded. “She’s suspicious and she’s spitting out bird shit.” He lit a cigarette that he smuggled in his suit…somehow. Allura gasped. “I am not! I didn’t do it!”

“Then why are your boots covered in blood?!” Pidge retorted back. “What you think I _asked_ to have my boots soiled?!” she snapped back. Lance took a puff from his cig. “Sounds like the perfect coverup.” Allura slammed her fists on the table, trying to find her words, the boys laughing at her attempts to defend herself. The 4 unanimously voted her out. “Goddammit.” She said grumpily, as she floated away into the void of space, never to be seen again.

_Allura was ejected._

~

The next 20 or so minutes were relatively quiet as the four did tasks here and there. It wasn’t until Pidge pushed the emergency meeting button that they all started to panic.

**_EMERGENCY MEETING_ **

“What?! What is it?!” Keith said. He looked around. All four of them were still alive. Pidge was standing on top of said table with a smirk on his face. “I just wanted to say that I saw Sven and Keith making out in Admin.”

He rolled on the table laughing maniacally. Lance smirked at the two as their faces turned bright red. “It’s…stressful out here!” Keith said flailing his arms. “And…Sven said words…and…”

“…and you started going at it in Admin. Nice, dude.” Lance said with another cig in his mouth. Keith turned to Lance. “Hey, where were _you_ during this whole thing?!” Lance crossed his arms. “Cockpit.” He said. “Or maybe it was _you_ two at the cockpit.” He high fived Pidge.

Keith pinched his eyes in annoyance. “Let’s just keep going. We still have things to do.”

“Like Sven, apparently.” Pidge said. He high fived Lance.

Keith sighed.

~

Lance was busy moving the upper engine when he heard a squeak behind him. He drew his gun…or… “What?! Where’s my gun?!” he cried out loud. “Looking for this?” A familiar voice said to him. Lance turned to see—

**_DEAD BODY REPORTED_ **

“I saw Sven over Lance’s body!” Pidge cried pointing at him. “What?! I was nowhere _near_ the upper engine!” He cried putting his hands up. Keith looked at Sven. “Well, you did split off from me after we both left MedBay.” He noted.

Pidge slammed his fists down on the table repeatedly. “EJECT! EJECT! EJECT!” he screamed. Sven covered his mouth. “Listen here you little shit! I would NEVER kill Lance. He was like a brother to me!” He then squinted his eyes at the commander.

“Keith, the other day you and Lance had a fight over something stupid…again. How do I know that _you_ didn’t do it?” Keith glared at Sven. “What?! Lance was _my_ best friend! I would never!” He turned to Pidge. “Meanwhile, _Pidge_ is feral enough to go all apeshit and KILL people!”

Pidge removed Sven’s hand from his mouth. “WHAT?! I’m 12!” He exclaimed defensively. “Besides, I came up and saw Sven standing over the body and reported it.” He pointed at Sven. Keith sighed and didn’t make eye contact with his lover. “Sorry, Sven.” He said to him as the two voted him out.

_Sven was ejected._

~

Keith was trying not to let the death of any of his friends get to him as he slowly blasted asteroids from the cockpit.

He knew who it was, and he was ready for him to approach.

He drew his gun as he saw the 12 year old approach.

“Sorry Pidge, but this is the end of the line.” He said. Pidge snickered. “No way. I am winning this and getting out of here.” He said.

“You aren’t yourself! Listen to me!” Keith said, trying to bargain with him. “Say hi to the rest for me.” Pidge said, as he shot Keith directly in the chest. This was it. The Drules and Pidge won.

~

Keith smashed his VR helmet to the ground. “Dammit! I knew it was you, you little son of a bitch!” he said pointing his finger at Pidge. Pidge laughed maniacally. “What a sucker!” Pidge said, sticking his tongue out.

The rest were sitting around the common room watching Pidge make faces at his commander. Game night got a definite upgrade as Lance and Hunk went to the store and bought everyone VR headsets.

Allura smiled. “We need to play this again. It was pretty hilarious of Pidge to program Lotor to be the narrator!” she said giggling. Hunk smiled. “It’s all thanks to my voice acting skills!” he said confidently.

“This game is addicting for sure.” Lance said, picking up his helmet again. The 5 followed suit.

“Last round for tonight and may the best man win.” Keith said.

**Author's Note:**

> HAHAHAHAHAHAHA SUCKERS >:3


End file.
